Like a Child Making Mud Pies

Yesterday, as  I was riding home from dropping my brother off at college, I started daydreaming about the future. I contemplated where I would go, what  I would do, who I would become; and then  I realized something, I was becoming way too attached to my version of the future, when God already has a plan for my life. A plan that may not include any of the things that I want to happen. I can just imagine God, up in heaven, smiling lovingly at my attempts to plan my future. Knowing perfectly well that He had already devised the perfect plan for my life.

Even though I knew that God's plan was already set in stone; I really, really wanted it to fit in with my plans. Thinking back on that moment, I remind myself of the child from the analogy by C. S. Lewis:

"We are...like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea."

Although, Lewis was talking about the gospel, I feel that this also applies to my situation. God has a wonderful blueprint for my life. But I still want to stick with how I laid my life out; even though, any plan I can think up, will be greatly inferior to God's idea. I would be perfectly content to remain in the slums with the life I have planned out, despite the fact that God is offering a holiday at the sea. As I sat in the passenger seat of that car, I realized that I needed to let go of my idea of a perfect life; I needed to commit my future to God.

You know what? Complete surrender is kinda nice. If I step back, and trust God to run my life, I no longer have to worry about how things will turn out. Yes, sometimes I do relapse, and start worrying about how I am going to pay for college, and who I will end up marrying. But for the most part, it is much more freeing. Besides, even if you let go of your dreams, they can still come true. After all, what you want, may still part of God's perfect plan for your life. Just be willing to accept it if it isn't.

Until  I write again, au revoir.

~Nat

Is the Makeup Industry a Scam?

Here is another article from the fictitious Big Blue Cow news. Enjoy!

Makeup Industry Revealed to be Giant Plot to Make Guys Miserable

By Natalie Schneider

Big Blue Cow news, August 22, 2010

On Tuesday, the Federal Examination Department for the Discovery of Undiscovered Plots (FEDDUP) announced that discovered a conspiracy, created by 85 year old Magdalene Dupree, to frustrate guys everywhere. In 1948 Dupree, then 23, was left at the altar by her fiancé, Albert Stockton. Dupree then allegedly decided that it would be her mission in life to make men everywhere miserable. “It started out with small things,” Dupree’s best friend Annabelle, said. “First it was only wearing too much perfume when she went out, or wearing big hats whenever she sat in front of guys at the movies. But soon her activities became meaner and more elaborate.”

Dupree’s activities allegedly culminated in a scheme to expand the makeup industry to such a point that it would become the bane of all men everywhere.  “I think she got the idea from our father complained about how much time we spent getting ready in the morning,” her sister Magnolia Dupree said.  “He used to always say that we spent all of our time, and all of his money, on makeup and hair stuff; and that because of it he was broke and late for everything.”  In the fall of 1949, Dupree started selling her makeup door to door. It was slow going, but after she received the endorsement of actress Olivia De Havilland, Dupree’s 15 step makeup process began to sell more rapidly.  In just a few years Dupree’s makeup company, Vision, became the highest grossing make up companies in the United States. After that, Dupree’s company continued to grow in its success. Until, in the spring of 1993, Dupree suddenly announced that she was selling her company to Cover Girl. With no explanation, she handed over her company and went quietly into retirement.

In the statement issued by FEDDUP on Tuesday; Senior Director of Press Releases, Robert Page explained that Dupree had sold her original company, because her larger plan had come into place. “It appears that since the winter of 1948, Magdalene Dupree had been planning to take over the entire makeup industry, and make it so expensive and complicated that it would ruin the lives of all men affected by it. On April 15, 1993 she achieved her goal, and on the 19^th she sold her company, and went into retirement.”  According to the statement, Dupree had spent most of the money she had acquired from the profits of her company to secretly by up every company that created hair and makeup products. In the end she controlled companies such as Maybelline, Cover Girl, and Herbal Essences; among others.

Dupree declined to comment except to shout through her open car window that this was “another example of men trying to ruin her life.” Her female lawyer did issue a statement saying that “Ms. Dupree is completely innocent of any of the bogus charges the FEDDUP may decide to charge her with. The idea that she somehow had a master plan to take over the makeup industry  and ruin the lives of men around the world is ludicrous.”Stockton also refused to comment on the alleged activities of his former fiancé. But his neighbors say that Stockton is often late leaving the house, because his wife takes two hours putting on her makeup and fixing her hair.

Déjà vu

I saw this article, and I just had to laugh. It reminds me of a mock 1AC I wrote for debate last year. Here is a excerpt from the article:

"Chinese officials say they want to clean up a pollution scourge fouling the capital and government centers nationwide: bureaucratic gasbags.The problem, Communist Party functionaries say, is that civil servants talk too much — at meetings, in speeches and when speaking off-the-cuff in public...To set an example for his peers, Li Yuanchao, a top member of a key Central Committee department, told the state-run New China News Agency that he is keeping his speeches short during meetings. In one recent video-conference, he kept his remarks to just 10 minutes..."

If only our politicians would follow their example.

Until I write again, au revoir.

~Nat

"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting." -Peter Pan

This summer has probably been one of the awesomest, and saddest summers ever. In the past, summer's have been things of tedium. This summer was different; I was so busy, I didn't know what to do with myself. Between hanging out with friends, going swimming, and ballroom dancing, I haven't had time for the for the boredom that usually plagues me.

 But, like I said, this summer has also been really sad. I have reached the point in my life, where it feels like so many more things are ending, than beginning. With the end of model UN earlier this summer, switching from Team Policy, to Lincoln Douglas debate, and so many of my friends (and my brother) going off to college, it seems like everything I love in my life is changing. On top of that, I just turned 18, and I can't help feeling like things will never be the same as when I was child. At times like this, I can't help empathizing with Peter Pan and his wish to never grow up.

I remember, five years ago, when I looked forward to being 18, and a senior. An event that felt like an eternity away when I was 13. Now it's here, and I almost wish it wasn't. It seems like we go through our whole lives looking in anticipation of events that are to happen in the future. Only to wish that we were in the past, when we finally get there. Don't get me wrong, I am excited at the prospect of going to college, and getting to have all new adventures. But, at the moment, all I feel is sadness at the approaching change; and I wish I were still 17, waiting for the next debate season to start. 

But I know that God knows what He's doing, and I know that I can't spend the rest of my life as a 17 year old. Things change, that is the way of life. Even though it's hard now, the changes bring about more new, and wonderful events. Events that, tomorrow, I will look forward to with anticipation. But today, all I find myself doing, is wishing that it was still the past.

Until next time, au revoir.
~Nat

No More Corn! :D

Oh happy day! I found out that I am not on the skeleton crew on Friday. Which means.....

 I AM DONE WITH DETASSELING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I should probably stop with the exclamation points. After all, I probably don't want to break my key board. But, I am just so happy to be done, I think I'll use a couple more. :D

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I'm good.

Now, with all my excitement about the end of detasseling, you may be wondering if I am going to do it next year? The answer to that question is yes, but ONLY if I can't get a job somewhere else. If everything goes well, I will never spend another day of my life in a cornfield. Of course, now I'll probably end up marrying a farmer or something.

Until I write again, au revoir.

~Nat

I Thought that's what Parents were For?

I have recently been trying to finish up a summary of a portion of H. R. 3590 (better known as "Obamacare"), I've been working on for Ten-Amendments.org.  Today, I was plodding through section 2953 when I came across yet another example of the government stepping in where it isn't supposed to.  Section 2953 is about "Personal Responsibility Education,"and provides funding for States (at a minimum of $250,000) and grants, for specific organizations, to carry out "Personal Responsibility Education Programs."  These programs will be able to teach the youth of America many useful things (if you can't tell, I am being sarcastic) including the following:


"(C) ADULTHOOD PREPARATION SUBJECTS.—The adulthood preparation subjects
 described in this subparagraph are the following: (i) Healthy relationships, such as positive self-esteem and relationship dynamics, friendships, dating, romantic involvement, marriage, and family inter actions. (ii) Adolescent development, such as
the development of healthy attitudes and values about adolescent growth and  development, body image, racial and ethnic diversity, and other related subjects.
 (iii) Financial literacy.  (iv) Parent-child communication...
  (vi) Healthy life skills, such as goal setting, decision making, negotiation, communication and interpersonal skills, and stress management."

Seriously?  Does our government really have to step in and pay for our children to learn about friendship, positive self-esteem and decision making? Have the parents been so absent in our country that this is the steps that is necessary to prepare our youth for adult life? Unfortunately, the more I see of the world outside my little home school bubble, the more I am afraid that the answer to the last question is yes. When I was taking driver's ed this summer, there were these posters in the classroom explaining how to do things like ask questions, accept criticism and apologize to people; and this was in a high school.

Although, I find it very saddening when I think about how many kids in America are not being properly raised by their parents.  I don't believe that it is justification for the government to step in and starting parenting.  That is not the role our government was created for, and it is not the right way to raise children.  You cannot teach a child to be respectful and responsible in a classroom, if they are not learning the same lesson from their parents.  You cannot teach a child about parent-child relationships, and how to have a good marriage if they aren't seeing that when they enter their front door.  There is a very serious very serious problem in America today, and a problem that needs to be dealt with.  But not by the government

Until next time, au revoir.

~Nat

Every Mushroom Cloud Has a Silver Lining

Yesterday, I had just about sworn that I would never do detasseling again (for those of you that don't know what detasseling is, check out Wikipedia). But today I'm considering actually coming back next year. You may wonder what brought on the sudden change of heart? It's because God is amazing!

Most of the time detasseling is difficult. It involves a whole lot of walking, and often times my shoulders ache from pulling the tassels. But yesterday was the worst day I have ever had in my entire time detasseling, and I'm not alone, some one who had been doing it for three years said that they had never had a day so bad. Although the field we were pulling wasn't ver large (only 20 acres) it was absolutely the worst field I had ever been in, apart from having seven foot tall corn stalks, much of the corn had been blown over by a storm, and was so twisted together it was almost impossible to tell which row was which, or to find the tassels. We spent eight hours in that field, with the temperature steadily rising to around 90 degrees, getting more and more tired as we went along. By the end of the day I was almost crying because I didn't want to keep going, and that night I was dreading getting up the next morning to do it all over again.

The next morning got off to a rocky start, I found out that it was supposed to get really hot today as well (they said that the heat index could get up to 106). Also, as I pulled out my stuff I realized that I had left my mp3 player at home, and I felt like crying again when I though about spending a monotonous 8 hours, in the heat, without even my music to keep me sane.  But Like I said, God is amazing! After we had first pulled (A first pull is when we go through the field for the first time and pull all the tassels the machine missed.) the bits of the field we hadn't gotten to yesterday, Phil (our bus assistant) got us all together and said that we needed to try and get out of this field by 12 so that we wouldn't be out when it got really hot. But to do this we needed to have 30 minute rounds (a round is when we go up one row of the field and than come down another row). Since our rounds yesterday were no where near 30 minutes, I wasn't very optimistic about our chances of getting done before 12. Well, we didn't get done at 12, we got done at 10! Since we had been so slow yesterday, we had been able to pull most of the tassels, and the rows were so clean, that we were able to do a round in 15 minutes! This just shows that no matter how horrible things are, God is always in control, and you can always find the positive side to almost any situation.Because we had suffered so much yesterday, we were able to get done quickly today, and get out of the field before it got unbearably hot. Isn't God so wonderful?

Here are a couple more bright spots in the weekend that I thought would be the worst weekend of my life:

-Getting to eat bubblegum the entire time I was pulling tassels.

-Seeing hot air balloons.

-Seeing a guy witness to someone in the cornfield.

-Not getting sunburned.

-Brightly colored duct tape.

-Getting to Spend some time praying since I didn't have my mp3 player.

-Fully relying on God throughout this whole ordeal.

-Chocolate pudding.

Until next time, au revoir.

~Nat

P.S. If you know what song that my title came from, you are officially awesome.