Like a Child Making Mud Pies

Yesterday, as  I was riding home from dropping my brother off at college, I started daydreaming about the future. I contemplated where I would go, what  I would do, who I would become; and then  I realized something, I was becoming way too attached to my version of the future, when God already has a plan for my life. A plan that may not include any of the things that I want to happen. I can just imagine God, up in heaven, smiling lovingly at my attempts to plan my future. Knowing perfectly well that He had already devised the perfect plan for my life.

Even though I knew that God's plan was already set in stone; I really, really wanted it to fit in with my plans. Thinking back on that moment, I remind myself of the child from the analogy by C. S. Lewis:

"We are...like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea."

Although, Lewis was talking about the gospel, I feel that this also applies to my situation. God has a wonderful blueprint for my life. But I still want to stick with how I laid my life out; even though, any plan I can think up, will be greatly inferior to God's idea. I would be perfectly content to remain in the slums with the life I have planned out, despite the fact that God is offering a holiday at the sea. As I sat in the passenger seat of that car, I realized that I needed to let go of my idea of a perfect life; I needed to commit my future to God.

You know what? Complete surrender is kinda nice. If I step back, and trust God to run my life, I no longer have to worry about how things will turn out. Yes, sometimes I do relapse, and start worrying about how I am going to pay for college, and who I will end up marrying. But for the most part, it is much more freeing. Besides, even if you let go of your dreams, they can still come true. After all, what you want, may still part of God's perfect plan for your life. Just be willing to accept it if it isn't.

Until  I write again, au revoir.

~Nat