When I started writing my previous post Sunday night, I had no idea how relevant it was. Since then God has tested the dedication to completely surrender my future to Him, and it hasn't been fun.
On Monday something happened that I had hopped would happen for a while, but never really thought would. Then on Tuesday, God let me know that now was not the time for it, and that it might not ever be the right time for it. After two days of excitement and happiness, to find out that it couldn't happen now was very hard for me. But what made it really difficult was that a short while before He said no, I had felt sure it was the right thing to do, and that God was going to let it happen.
I don't really understand why those two days happened, or why God would give me this, and then take it away. But I do trust Him. I know He has a plan, that He is in control, and that even though now it is disappointing, it is for the best. But sometimes complete surrender can be very tough.
Until next time, au revoir.
~Nat
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