This summer has probably been one of the awesomest, and saddest summers ever. In the past, summer's have been things of tedium. This summer was different; I was so busy, I didn't know what to do with myself. Between hanging out with friends, going swimming, and ballroom dancing, I haven't had time for the for the boredom that usually plagues me.
But, like I said, this summer has also been really sad. I have reached the point in my life, where it feels like so many more things are ending, than beginning. With the end of model UN earlier this summer, switching from Team Policy, to Lincoln Douglas debate, and so many of my friends (and my brother) going off to college, it seems like everything I love in my life is changing. On top of that, I just turned 18, and I can't help feeling like things will never be the same as when I was child. At times like this, I can't help empathizing with Peter Pan and his wish to never grow up.
I remember, five years ago, when I looked forward to being 18, and a senior. An event that felt like an eternity away when I was 13. Now it's here, and I almost wish it wasn't. It seems like we go through our whole lives looking in anticipation of events that are to happen in the future. Only to wish that we were in the past, when we finally get there. Don't get me wrong, I am excited at the prospect of going to college, and getting to have all new adventures. But, at the moment, all I feel is sadness at the approaching change; and I wish I were still 17, waiting for the next debate season to start.
But I know that God knows what He's doing, and I know that I can't spend the rest of my life as a 17 year old. Things change, that is the way of life. Even though it's hard now, the changes bring about more new, and wonderful events. Events that, tomorrow, I will look forward to with anticipation. But today, all I find myself doing, is wishing that it was still the past.
Until next time, au revoir.
~Nat
Wow...I just found your blog, and are you sure you aren't me? :P :) Just kidding, of course, but honestly everything I've read so far I can relate to directly! 18, senior in high-school, debate (I"m in NCFCA and STOA for the first time this year) even going to sleep to music... lol :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this blog! You're hilarious and have helped me see myself clearer from you writing about yourself! :)
Lol, it is possible that I am a version of you from an alternate reality and I some how got transported into this reality through a rift in the space time continuum. But I suppose that is rather unlikely...
ReplyDeleteAnyway thanks so much for commenting. It's nice to know that there is someone out there reading this who isn't related to me. :) I hope you have as much fun in debate this year as I have for the past 5 years. What region are you in?